Hollywood Park: A Memoir

I did not know what to expect when I started Jollett's memoir. I had never heard of him and I was not familiar with him as a rock-and-roll personality (no one to blame since I only listen to classical music, The Beatles, Janis Joplin and The Stones). Mikel J begins his story as he and his brother escape from Synanon, a California recovery program turned cult, with their mother in the 1970's. The story expands into how he and his brother survived living with a mother who denied them their feelings, ignored the fact that they may have had deep-rooted abandonment issues, and more-or-less, fed them lies in an attempt to convince them to believe what she wanted them to believe. Similar to my own memoir, which covers many of the same themes, I mention that the first six years of a child's life, if shattered, sometimes takes a lifetime to work out issues and deep psychological scars. Jollett takes the reader through his journey of healing. He does not whine and drag out an underlying theme of "poor me," as some memoirs often do, but rather he artistically paints his path to healing. His creativity cannot be denied and his pop (I loved the whole Italian-American references and fully related to the Italian family), was a good guy, a great guy, an understanding, tough-love angel that reappears in his life to rescue Mikel and his brother from life in Oregon and their mother. The book pushed a lot of buttons for me, but it is so well-written that I continued reading in light of many tears. I won't give the ending away, but I will say that Jollett's desire to people please rings through in a very sweet way. He makes sure his readers close the book with a heart full of love - even if there is a tear. As I concluded the book last night, I felt that he was still the precious little boy with the over-bite, and a kid I would have loved to hold in my arms to comfort and tell him that everything will be okay. When I was one of Mother Teresa's Brothers in her religious order, Mother constantly said, "You are put on this earth to love and to be loved." While it appears that this story is about survival and tragic circumstances, it is not. It is a story about real life. It is really a love story - a story about what it really means to love and to be loved.

Wow. Just wow. I’m a mystery/suspense/thriller fiend and I bought this book on a whim. I had just finished a new book by one of my favorite mystery writers when I decided to dig into Hollywood Park. I expected to have a tough time reading it, simply because it wasn’t my favorite type of book and because I’d just finished such an incredible mystery. And wham. I became immersed in the story immediately when I started the book yesterday afternoon and got up at 4 a.m. this morning to finish it. First of all, Mr. Jollett can flat write. I was amazed by his fluency, his descriptions, and most of all, by his raw honesty. It takes guts to lay it on the line as he does. To say his upbringing was brutal doesn’t begin to describe it. Yet I couldn’t look away, I think because he related small pockets of love that kept him going. I also kept going because Mr. Jollett writes with such compassion, love, and generosity. His mother, who harmed him grievously, is treated with understanding and gentleness. He forgave and forgives her for the disorders compelling her to neglect and abuse him, for making his trauma all about her. He has risen above who did what to whom and has claimed as his own the life he had which in turn empowered him to do the hard work to heal, to change. He is no one’s victim and he got there, it seems to me, by refusing to blame anyone for what happened. He simply comes to understand what makes him tick and he sets about to remodel his interior so it is habitable. This memoir is well worth buying and reading. I wish I could say something more profound because the book certainly deserves it, but I’m not the writer Mr. Jollett is. All I can say is don’t miss his story.

I love reading memoirs. Everyone has a story, and learning about their lives through the lens of their reality, or sometimes others' realities, is so intriguing. Mike Jollett's memoir does both as he struggles understanding his life through his childhood eyes, what he is told happened and how he should feel; and later through the eyes as a teen and adult trying to process his childhood, reconciling what he knows to be true and his reality, and finding his own voice and his own way in the world. He endured a tumultuous life of sadness, poverty, loneliness, addiction, emotional abuse and abandonment. Growing up in a cult, escaping with his mom and brother, learning things about his father and afraid he was destined to be like him, persevering in spite of who his father was, understanding his mother's mental state and narcissistic personality. Children often compartmentalize their feelings and learn to cope in different ways. "What do you do when you're a scared-shitless kid that's been faking it for long? You bury it." He talks about wearing a "mask" as a survival mechanism. "It's a mask, this face you create for others, one you hide behind as you laugh at jokes you don't understand and skip uncomfortable details, entire years of your life, as if they simply did not happen." He learns to hide behind a mask, don't devulge too much information, to hide your feelings. Also for Mikel, music was a big outlet for him, teaching him about the world, and eventually propelling him to find and use his voice to share the pain he endured. If you haven't listend to his band, The Airborne Toxic Event, I highly recommend them, and you can learn a little more about Mikel through the songs he writes. He is an incredible writer, I enjoyed learning about his journey of self discovery and working through the pain to find ways of expressing himself and finding peace. Learning from his father, "Sometimes you just have to sit on your hands and hurt." Yet, realizing he can turn his pain into his art, writing.

Beautifully written and utterly captivating, Mikel's book had me hooked from beginning to end. I loved it and thoroughly recommend it. The easiest 5-star rating I'll ever give.

Había estado esperando poder pedir este libro el año pasado. Sigo a The Airborne Toxic Event y al enterarme del nuevo álbum y de la memoria de Mikel Jollet no podía esperar. Tuve que esperar unos meses porque no me encontraba en mi ciudad y hubiera sido difícil pedir algo por la pandemia. Aunque está en inglés, es un libro maravilloso. Si eres fan de la banda seguro que lo amarás, aunque debes tener un buen nivel de inglés. El producto llegó en el tiempo establecido, incluso creo que antes. Además bien cuidado. Estoy feliz.

Mikel Jollett ist der Frontmann der kalifornischen Indie-Rock-Band The Airborne Toxic Event. Zuvor war er bereits als Journalist im Musikbusiness sowie als Verfasser von Kurzgeschichten tätig, nun folgt sein Debüt als Autor. "Hollywood Park" ist dabei autobiografisch geprägt und berichtet von Jolletts Großwerden in den Fängen der Synanon-Sekte, der Flucht sowie dem anschließenden Leben in derart zerrütteten Verhältnissen, dass man als Leser stark emotional involviert ist (und es vermutlich auch wäre, wenn man nicht dem Schaffen der Band seit langem folgen würde). Ihm gelingt es auf bravouröse Weise, in sein Kindheits-Ich zurück zu gehen und aus den Augen eines einsamen Jungen zu schreiben, gleichzeitig schafft Jollett es, eine Brücke zu seinem jetzigen Dasein zu schlagen. Besondere Bedeutung kommt dabei seinem rebellischen, aber liebenden Vater zu, ebenso seiner Mutter mit einer stark narzistisch ausgeprägten psychischen Krankheit sowie seinem lange Zeit suchtkranken Bruder Tony. Nicht umsonst ist dieses Buch in Oprahs Liste der Bücher aufgetaucht, die man 2020 lesen sollte und nicht umsonst ist es umgehend in die Top 10 der Bestseller-Liste des New Yorkers aufgenommen worden. Jollett gelingt es, unglaublich emotional zu werden, ohne dabei pathetisch zu sein. Ihm gelingt es, traurig zu sein, ohne kitschig zu werden. Ihm gelingt es, Kind zu sein, ohne unnötig auszuschweifen. Als Resümee bleibt mir zu sagen, ebenfalls ohne pathetisch zu werden, dass ich als mittlerweile 34-jähriger Mann an zwei Stellen im Buch Tränen in den Augen hatte, was mir in meinem bisherigen Lese-Leben noch nicht passiert ist. Zudem erläutert das Buch implizit (teils auch explizit) vieles, dass den Gedanken hinter The Airborne Toxic Event und deren Musik erklärt. Absolute Leseempfehlung.

Mikel Jollet has a gift for putting his deepest most complex thoughts into words! He has managed to create beauty from chaos and dysfunction and this is a must read for any adult who grew up in any kind of dysfunctional environment!

Great book! Evocative and detailed account