Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others

This is the most motivational book I have ever read so far and also more than useful. One of the most interesting points is the 10 commandments of the assertive person. There is also so much good guidance on how anyone can learn to cope in a positive way so that they cannot be argumentative or aggressive. This approach not only fosters healthier relationships but also encourages personal growth and self-confidence. By applying these principles, readers can transform their interactions and create a more harmonious environment both at work and in their personal lives. I could it more than 5/5

When I was younger, especially in my days as a high school student, I was one of those guys who made friends easily with both teachers and fellow students but had a hard time when it came to dating and achieving certain goals which required collaboration from others. It wasn't that I was an "ugly duckling" - even though at times I thought I was - or a disagreeable fellow; I had a circle of friends from a cross-section of my high school's student body that included football players, choir singers, members of the drama club and - of course - some of my fellow journalism students. However, when I really wanted to start dating girls, I tended to "wimp out" and become the "invisible man" because I couldn't find a way to get women to notice me in a positive light. Looking back on those days and even further on into my adulthood, I realize now that although shyness played a lot of havoc both in my personal and professional ambitions, my biggest problem was lack of assertiveness. Now, as Judy Murphy points out in "Assertiveness: How to Stand Up For Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others," assertiveness - which is not to be confused with "aggressiveness" - is one of the most important factors that determine whether we get a job we are seeking, plum assignments and promotions, or if we can attract a significant other and build a happy, healthy and stable relationship based on love and respect. At the start of the book, Murphy explains the difference between being assertive and being aggressive, which is important to understand because some people, especially guys, tend to say to non-assertive peers "to be aggressive and go for what you want." I often heard this chestnut when I asked more successful guys how to get girls to like me or how to ask my student newspaper's editors for stories that I wanted to write. However, as Murphy writes, aggressiveness "lacks respect. Aggressive people lack respect for others," while assertiveness is all about being firm in seeking your goals without being disrespectful or obnoxious. In the book's six chapters - not including the author's introduction or her conclusion - Murphy discusses such key topics as to how non-assertive persons can train themselves to be more assertive by improving their body language and manner of speaking, how self-perception (especially negative self-perception) determines one's levels of assertiveness, how individuals can get further ahead in their careers by correcting bad habits - such as talking like a "wimp" or being the "unassuming type" in social functions - and gaining positive attention from supervisors and other "authority figures" at work. Murphy even addresses the dynamics of romantic relationships - including marriages - which can be negatively affected by one's lack of assertiveness and self-respect. As the author points out, "If you want your relationships to be a haven, a safe respite from the storm, it is important to learn to assert yourself with the people you are close to." "Assertiveness: How to Stand Up For Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others" is written in a crisp and easy-to-follow style, and Murphy's authorial tone is informative and engaging, with no heavy-handed preaching or academically dryness that would turn off readers.

This book will arm you with the skills and confidence to stand your ground. However, I feel this book is good for those who may have a few cracks and bumps in their foundation but not for those with no foundation at all.

We live in a society where people confuse assertiveness and aggressiveness when pursuing what we want in life. Judy Murphy's book, Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Still Win the Respect of Others, does much to clear up that misconception in a straightforward, concise manner. Assertiveness is attaining a balance between considering your own wants, needs, and goals with the wants, needs, and goals of other people. Aggressive people act in self-serving ways that lack respect for others; passive people act in ways that show no respect for themselves. Using a list of principles called the Bill of Rights of Assertiveness, Ms. Murphy guides readers to understand how they think about themselves, how they communicate, and how others perceive them can impede acting assertively and getting the respect they deserve. The book provides useful examples of passive, aggressive, and assertive behavior in a variety of settings, and then follows up with helpful exercises and suggestions for the reader to practice being assertive in those settings as well. Especially strong and true-to-life examples are given in the section on assertiveness in personal relationships, covering such topics as miscommunication between significant others and parent-child challenges. Another interesting section addresses how to raise assertive children, which is such an important issue given the widespread bullying problems in schools and neighborhoods. The major concept of the entire book is that behaving with respect toward others and toward oneself will go a long way in assuring that one will be respected by others. Constructive assertiveness can also reduce stress, increase honest relationships with others, and benefit health. This book is a handy guide to improving one's life through being more assertive that will be read more than once by many of its readers.

This book is a great addition to my library.

One of the best learning books out there at a decent price offering. Some books just change your outlook in life and this is one among the many.

Un guide utile pour comprendre et pratiquer l’assertivité, surtout écrit avec des mots simples loin du language technique de certains psy....

This book is a great guide on how to become an assertive communicator. It gives you a clear explanation of why a passive communication style does not benefits you and guides you step by step to turn expressing yourself more assertively in different situations. Great tool indeed to improve yourself!

I enjoyed reading this book because it was full of useful advice. It was easy to understand and got to the point so I felt it made the best use of my time. I can recommend it to anyone wanting to improve their assertiveness skills.

I really wish I had this book earlier in my life, when I had no clue about boundaries. I found this book well-structured, and thus, very effective. In the beginning, the author explains the boundaries and the difference between self-confidence and arrogance. There is also a quiz to help figuring out the key problems and the area of work. The rest of the book has practical exercises aiming to increase the level of assertiveness among the readers. I found the exercises useful in multiple ways. I strongly recommend it to everyone struggling with high level of responsibility.