Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Has good test to take to check in with yourself and your relationship. Conversational in tone and isn’t hard to read.

It's typical that, as the husband, I really don't like yada yada drawn out blatherings of so many pop psychology couples books. This one gets right to the point and without so much confrontation with my wife directly. It is a good solid breakdown of how to talk things over with respect. The authors walk you through 10 scenarios and break down what went wrong and how to fix it. Each situation hit close enough to home that it made us squirm a little.My dear wife and I have been married 33 years, have led home couples studies, etc.We gained a lot from this book. If you feel emotionally distant from your spouse get this book right away and read through it together. A chapter a night if you can. It brings up so many good things to talk about and shows good behavior to do it. We thought we were basically OK, maybe acting a little like good room mates, but good grief we needed this practical shove in the rear.

I liked this book. I highlighted multiple sections I want to share with my husband. For me, the best was tips on how to talk about my needs in a specific and concrete way. The quizzes were good too, but the ones that got more complicated were a bit frustrating. (Score 1 for true answers but take one point away for true answers on questions number x, x, x.)

What more do I have to say? This is my standard wedding present. The couple may not need it for a year or two while in the honeymoon stage. But, at some point, communication will break down. This book can help guide the couple through those times.

Amazing!!!!! I have read a lot of marriage books. This is the book that has helped me the most. The quizzes really help you pinpoint the mistakes you are making, even better than a therapist can. You are usually on slightly good behavior in front of a therapist, so that don't really know what is happening behind closed doors. But the quizzes give you an opportunity to assess where you might be going wrong. Next, having 20 transcripts of real couples discussing a range of challenging topics with associated line by line therapist commentary is invaluable. Sometimes you see transcripts that remind you of yourself and it is helpful to get the advice on how to improve or see what causes the conversation to derail. Next, it is fascinating to see how how conversations on very challenging topics can fe handled in a healthy way. One of the best!!!!

On its face this book has a lot of great points and seem super helpful. I think it is the ideal and a lot of research really needs to be put in context.Remember there are always two people in a relationship and this is the sticky place this book doesn’t get into. Both parties have to commit to these ideas.My significant other and I went to see a Gottman trained level 2 therapist because of this book and it was a big mistake! We were in two places emotionally and he wasn’t able to be vulnerable enough to truly commit to these ideas. Instead, he was so shut down that the therapist would go to great lengths to involve him and to my expense. She would align her opinions to his, suggest sleeping pills for me and even talk in a flirty voice. The interventions only made this worse. It was like disarming nuclear weapons everyryrime we met. I was in agony for the five months we engaged with her. I felt like I was punched in the face every session. She even told me to get a hobby when I said my partners attention to other vices took time away from us.After much research, I realized the Gottman approach is not what a couple on two different emotional levels needed. Instead, I read a book about emotional focused therapy called hold me tight. We started to see an EFT therapist. Wow!!!! In 3 sessions I had hope again after being battered by the Other therapist for 5 months. I would suggest to start with EFT if you are in a similar situation.

I’m trying to find a way to tactfully give it to people I love without seeming like I’m judging their marriage. There are a lot of useful tips presented in ways I could grasp

Absolutely incredible book! If you think your marriage has failed, she moved out, or he moved out this book can help you understand the why's of many things and help you start to repair the relationship. The thing people need to realize as well is that most times it took years for the relationship to fall apart so expecting it to be repaired in weeks or months is unrealistic. Read it and do the exercises, even if you are the only one in the relationship wanting to save it, try, try as hard as you can and your partner will see the change! I told my wife it took 7 years to break us, I'll spend 10 trying to get you back, she said give me 5 and you'll have me! That was better news than I had heard in months!

Muy recomendable

Gottman habla de cosas que todos hacemos a veces y son nocivas para nuestra relación, A cambio muestra formas de comportamiento positivo. Sin duda leeré también sus 7 principios del matrimonio.

Incredible Book for giving insight into relationships every marriage counselor should read it and husband and wives would benefit so much

The Gottmans rule! All couples considering marriage should have to attend a Gottman workshop. And all couples should 'top-up' regularly with any of a range of Gottman materials available. The books are a great foundation and are really worth a read. If either of you are non-readers, though, I've found that the video/workshop reached my husband in a way the books couldn't. I've read a lot of books on relating, marriage and the like, but these offer the most effective and research-supported tools by far!

Just a lot of conversations between different couples with problems. Not helpful at all. I never understand why such books are filled with anecdotes. Practical advice is what we need, not what imaginary couples did or said.