Adult Children: Alcoholic / Dysfunctional Families

I always new I had relationship issues but thought they were external to me. By learning about the Adult Child syndrome and the effects of having a trauma related personality, it became clear this book held the keys to the kingdom. What didn’t realize until much later is that discovery is not recovery. In other words this book did a great job at revealing the problem and it’s causes, but it then went on to demonstrate how recovery from growing up in a dysfunctional family could be achieved. Many books by therapists all layout the problem very well, but in my experience only the program of ACA delivers the tools to recover from the dysfunction. This book has all of this information in it and can be studied in groups to obtain the clarity and emotional balance for living a very satisfying life. Highly recommend this book and the others that were written by actual adult children who worked the recovery process to heal from their trauma.

We've all had dysfunction of some kind in our lives, right? I'm a senior now and wish I would have found this decades ago. This will flip your will to live if you've suffered from dysfunction, whether it was caused by alcoholism or not. This is the solution. It's the best self help book ever created. It's written by committees, not by one author. If you've been depressed, anxious, suffering, etc, please check it out! In five weeks of reading and meetings I am more hopeful than I've been in decades. There is no other like the ACA BRB! It's hard to put it down. There really is hope!

Once I started this book, I couldn't put it down. It is a heartfelt description of every facet of ACA and how it can heal an adult-child in mind, body, and spirit. It is a blueprint for the recovery process of ACA that includes going to meetings, working the 12 steps, and turning your recovery over to your higher power. There are some shorter books one can read, but if you want everything about ACA in one source, this is the book for you.

Why was I consistently ending up in dysfunctional and unloving relationships and picking wounded, emotionally unavailable people as lovers? Why, after 30 years in another 12 step program, did I still hate myself? Why did I believe others could fulfill me through THEIR love? Now I have answers to those very questions. This book gives me the pathway to healing from the abuses I suffered from as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic home. It also gives me deeper insight and understanding into generational dysfunction and it's affects on all family members. After reading this book (which I will continue to do until the day I die) I finally accepted the fact that the answer was inside me, and no one else, and that if I didn't learn to love myself, I was never going to find the happiness and contentment I was seeking. What this book suggests I do isn't easy, but it is do-able and definitely better than living the way I was living, which was most of the time in total confusion and denial about my own pain. I bought the text book from a 12-step group I attend that focuses on recovery from dysfunction homes and being involved in that group has helped tremendously. This review is from the downloaded version, which is word for word the same as the physical text book. Thank you to all who participated in the development of this book. It's invaluable for those seeking recovery.

I didn't know. Alcoholism/family dysfunction may be kept a secret. It certainly was in my family growing up. As a child, I felt that something was just not right but just couldn't put my finger on it. So, my thinking became distorted and tried to force solutions to fit what I was feeling. Ultimately, I ended up not being able to trust my own feelings! This book helps people like me as well as those who obviously grew up with active drinking in their families (How much DID you and Mom drink while I was growing up?). This question opened up an entire world in my family I never knew existed. On the surface, we were the "perfect" family. And to be fair, there were lots of good times. Camping, water skiing, church. Family get togethers were not drunken brawls as I have heard others relate. However, there was this undercurrent of dis-ease that I picked up. The Red Book has been a great help in putting my life in order. I only wish I had found it earlier in my recovery, however I am glad it was written. I have heard it said that "AA is the High School diploma. Al Anon is the Master's degree and ACA is the PhD." This pretty much describes my haphazard (Divinely inspired) path to recovery. Stop drinking/using. Go to Al Anon. and Read the Big Red Book. Prayers for your journey through recovery.

Great book!!

Strong book, good info, much better than most ACA meetings I've gone to. Also, I wish the logo better indicated that this book is also for those from Dysfunctional Families, rather than simply saying ACA in a stylized way. In addition, I believe the chapter much later on that is meant for teens has information that would be GREAT for the new reader and would be better if it was found much earlier in the book. As I went to ACA meetings trying to determine if they were for me, it was the chapter meant to be read by teens that really cinched it for me. Many of us experienced dysfunction as a child or as a teen, and those reactions and coping mechanisms are still buried inside us, waiting to be triggered by just the right stimuli. That chapter for teens really, really resonated with me, and I knew I was in the right place (or at least reading the right book, I often will go to ACA/ACDF meetings hosted by Celebrate Recovery in my area, as I appreciate their strict adherence to the group guidelines- it feels safer to me). By the way, the Kindle version of this book is great. I can make notes, answer questions, highlight stuff- on my iPad or phone and it's always synced and with me. The hardcopy book is very big and cumbersome. At my meetings, the hardcopy book was $15, on Amazon it was much more, but the Kindle version was less expensive and the convenience was fantastic.

I believe our culture is mostly affected by some sort of family dysfunction and intergenerational trauma and if we grew up this way we recreate the reality we had as children (when we were not in control) in our relationships to the point of insanity, burn out, breakdown, etc. As a young educated white woman of privilege, I was lucky that my parents were sober and in AA before I was born, and I knew a lot about our family dysfunction before I was mature enough to really understand how profound the effect was. I’ve even been to counselors who KNOW my family background and they never pushed me to read this or attend ACA meetings. The concepts and teachings in this book are very accurate and describe in uncanny detail the way dysfunction affects you even if the type of dysfunction you experienced was not overt (substance abuse, physical abuse, etc.) or socially unacceptable. The best thing about the book is the emphasis on you taking accountability and focusing only on yourself. I’ve seen psychologists gain notoriety by just borrowing so many of these principles. I think people have a block or can’t get over the stigma of the 12-step relation, so maybe that’s for the masses. But, if you’re over being unhappy and sick of your own bullsh*! -even if you don’t think attending meetings is for you (I’m on the fence/haven’t been able to force myself over Zoom)- the book is amazing and I wish my parents had a copy around since they were adult children of alcoholics, too.