The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Wow! Absolutely loved this book I must say. When I got this book, I wasnt sure Id love it. I know many people recommended it but after reading the negative reviews I was a tiny bit hesitant. But I am so GLAD I bit the bullet. I recommend this for anyone interested in having a long lasting relationship and many years of a beautiful marriage, either one you are currently in or one you want in the future. These truly do seem the keys to make most marriages last for sure. Even the ways conflict is handled is EXACTLY what I been asking for and EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is the way conflict should be handled. Another pro: the book exercises are very helpful. After reading the questions and surveys I found them extremely helpful in identifying the core issues or positives in a marriage. People don't realize you are A TEAM when you are married. Its YOU 2 first, and this book preaches that. Also the 7 principles themselves I found to be very true and reading the studies as examples were quite helpful. I also appreciate how the book provides practical examples and tips on HOW to bring up certain topics, what to say, what to do in certain marital situations. The only complaint I have about this book is it doesnt seem to go into too much when to truly call it quits in a marriage. I absolutely agree that in most cases people call it quits far too early and people end what could have been such a beautiful thing for silly reasons that can be resolved or learn to co-exist peacefully, but I will say in some fairly rare situations there are times where a marriage simply wont work. I wish the book delved into that a bit more of what are the signs that your marriage really needs to end. But I would say that is a fairly rare case and again MOST of the time it can be improved with many of the exercises and points made in the book My other gripe is that the pages are so thin that it doesnt withstand the wrath of my highlighter! I wish it was a tiny bit thicker because I have to be very gentle with how I highlight so it doesnt bleed through... and trust me, I highlighted A TON in this book. So helpful

Love this book! My husband and I read it together. Initially because we were going through a little rough patch and my girlfriend recommended it to me. We both ended up feeling like it was useful especially to spark conversations and not feel like it was going to start a fight. I’d recommend this to anyone in a relationship. There are good exercises throughout the book that also help you understand yourself and partner better!

I picked up this book after hearing John and Julie Gottman on a podcast. I was so impressed with their approach to counseling and the words of marital wisdom, I had to pick up this book. I devoured every chapter and have learned so much. It's going to be a re-read several times into my future! I talked about the concepts and discoveries in this book so much, my husband became intrigued, and it sparked many long conversations at dinner. We even decided to set a marriage retreat for ourselves this past year, and used many of the quizzes and questions in the book to guide us. After our weekend, my husband and I both thought the conversations we had due to this book were some of the best and deepest in our marriage. This has now become a must-needed road-trip companion for us any time we're in the car. Thank you to John Gottman and Nan Silver for such a transformational marriage book!

My wife and I started a couples communication class, and since it's based on the book by Gottman, I decided to read the book. It's well worth reading, especially for newlyweds, as it can save you a lot of angst in the long run. But even for vintage partners like us, there are lots of words of wisdom. Like a lot of books in the self help genre, no horse is ever dead enough to be beaten one more time, so I feel like this book could use some serious editing. But it was still fascinating on many levels, and a good enhancement for the class. I've summarized the gist of the book below, although the stuff on relationship stages is from our class booklet, and not from the Gottman book. Seven Principles for a Successful Marriage: 1. Enhance your love maps. 2. Nurture your fondness and admiration. 3. Turn toward each other. 4. Let your partner influence you. 5. Solve your solvable problems. 6. Overcome gridlock. 7. Create shared meaning. Signs of impending divorce: 1. Harsh startup. 2. The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling. 3. Flooding. 4. Body language. 5. Failed repair attempts. 6. Stuck on old memories. Relationship Stages: Stage 1. Love is blind. Your partner is the most understanding, smartest, kindest, sexiest person on earth. Stage 2. Power struggle. Futile attempts to change one's partner. Stage 3. Stability. Accepting your partner as they are, and switching to positive sentiment override (PSO). Stage 4. Commitment. Abandonment of all the self-defeating tactics.

the book is amazing and if you are not married to a pathological liar and covert narc, i am sure it can even help couples...easy read and excellent exercises

Good

Muy buen libro. Aunque esté orientado a parejas, los solteros pueden aprender mucho para cuando estén en una relación. Su contenido es útil, práctico y valioso.

Another great Gottman book that is well worth the read. Best seller for a reason. It's super good at explaining all the major issues that couples face and gives you great exercises to go through together to work on boosting/saving your marriage. I would recommend anyone in a relationship for more than 6 months to read this, especially before you get married. When you are married and have issues, this is the holy grail of books if you put the work in to actually follow it.

Nice and useful